In your relationship, asking for what you want in a helpful, non-threatening way helps you and your partner understand each other. In couple counseling, when partners are asked to state their wants they often discover that their wants are very much the same, and the problem disappears. The conflict between them was only their lack of understanding and communication.
So, what's the best way to ask for what you want when wondering how to make your relationship better?
Here are 6 tips to help you.
1. Get clear about what you want. You can't say what you want clearly if you're not certain what it is. Before approaching your partner with a request, think about it and write it down in one concise sentence.
2. Create a good atmosphere. If asking for what you want is hard for you, don't do it without preparation. Choose a moment when you and your partner both have time, and invite him or her to sit down and speak with you.
3. Simply state what you want. Don't begin your statement with a lot of disclaimers -- they make the other person feel accused of something. Just ask, politely, for what you want or need.
4. Be prepared to accept a "no." Remember, if you can't accept a no answer, then you're making a demand, not a request, so have a backup solution. Find a way to get what you want for yourself, even if the other person isn't cooperating.
5. Listen politely to your partner's answer. Whether your partner says yes, no, or something in between, listen carefully to what he or she says. Don't get all caught up in the worry and noise inside your head -- pay attention. You need to know what the answer is.
6.Ask honest questions while lying in bed each night during the week. Make this into a game rather than a prying chore. Only ask questions that you will also answer, and try to find out new and interesting things about one another. Ask silly questions about where you want to travel or about playful dreams. Bond with the question game each night, and never go to bed without learning something new about your partner.
Hello there.
ReplyDeleteI wish i could wrote like this when i was at your age. Everytime when i read blog. I try hardly to find up their first post. Do you want to know why? Because first post is very important for me. My thought, when someone start to take action in writing. It mean a lot to share and express to this world. I hope to bear with you and you not give up when writing.
I know that hard to get reader and i know than sometime at the moment you look back at this recent comment. You may feel give up or enjoy on whatever you do. Trust me, whatever happen in future you may have someone who realy care about what you are currently doing deeply.
This first post may be the first step for your success. Have a lot people outside there who only think about but today when i read this i know that this will be the ultimate first step for you to success.
Dear... Whatever you do i know that you will do better than me. I know that you will have a good future and you can help more people from your glory of success. All of this we have discussed earlier and i know surely that you wil me the next milionaire. Just keep up writing coz you are the good to good. :-)
nazriayob.blogspot.com